Confessions of a Dirrty Mind

Last night I went into the bathroom to take a shower before bed. When I opened the door and walked in I saw this HUGE bug on the bathroom rug. I freaked out, turned off the light and shut the door. I didn't care to investigate to see what type of bug it was or anything. Greg's cell phone was dead, so instead I wrote a note for him on pink fluorescent paper and taped it on the door into our apartment.
" Greg (my gorgeous MAN), There is bug of some giant sort in the bathroom. I've shut the door to trap it in. PLEASE KILL IT Before you come to bed. Love, Poptart. "
When Greg got home, I heard him go into the bathroom to do his duty as my man. He shook the shower curtain, searched high and low, but couldn't find it-he figured it went back down the drain or something. I was not satisfied with this answer, so he poured bleach down the drain. I finally got out of bed to look around and let him know that I had originally seen it on the rug. Then he gets this look on his face. "You mean right there?" and points to the exact spot I had seen it. "Yeah there! Oh crap, what?" It was a feather. "Don't worry babe, I took care of that feather. I threw it away." I'm so dumb.