Confessions of a Dirrty Mind

As much as I enjoyed my away time from work, it feels really good to be home. Sleeping in my own bed on Monday was heaven. And I don't even like my bed that much.
Texas was great. The wedding was so pretty and wonderful (and short!) I cried because I'm a sap. (just a little though) At the reception I ate zucchini (!) and learned how to shimmy from my grandmother.
I also went shopping while down in Texas. I got two new pairs of shoes, a camoflauge skirt (yay!), Buffy Season 6, and two books. ("Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs" is seriously funny.) I finished Season 5 of Buffy last night (and I cried when Buffy died, because I'm a dork) and started Season 6 tonight. It's funny that Buffy's hair got longer and browner after she died.
Tomorrow night's goal: Attempt to clean my apartment. Seriously disturbing.

I was given the disturbing news this weekend that my plan to marry into money probably won't work. To do this I would have to get married in at least the next couple years to a much older man. (I was told 47 is the youngest I could go) I was told over dinner Saturday night that younger rich men aren't looking to get married. And the older men that are rich are looking for the "convertible", not the "classic car." So I can't wait til I'm 35 to get married if I really want to marry into money. After much discussion it was decided that the best plan is as follows:

1. Have a good lawyer friend (in a year, Jeff will fill that position nicely)
2. Have said friend tell me which clients have either a) no prenup or b) prenup with an infidelity clause.
3. Lure this client into bed.
4. Webcam.
5. Blackmail = Salary.

In other news, I burnt my forehead at an I-Cubs game yesterday and I'm really worried that I'll be Peely McNasty at the wedding on Saturday. Fabulous.

TAKING A WEEK OFF WORK! WOOHOOOOOOO!

Money spent last night: $150.00 plus.

Things bought:
At Kohls:
Smokin' hot dress for the wedding next weekend. I'm hoping to pick me up some hot Texas cowboy. (not the football player type)
Lots and lots of underwear and bras.
Earrings. (sidenote: I dont wear earrings)

At Home Depot:
Aaron and Carrie's wedding present. Home Depot is the least romantic place to buy a wedding present, but it's the only store they are registered at that I have access to. I bought the thing with the funniest name on their list.

Target:
I searched for a camoflauge skirt. I don't know what my obsession is with having one right now. But I will not stop until I find one. That fits. And isn't super short. I didn't find one so I opted to buy Season 5 of Buffy instead (finally!). I watched the 1st two episodes last night. I will be in front of my TV every night for the next few days I'm sure. I've only seen a handful of Season 5 episodes, and I always thought they made it sound like Dawn had lived with her dad all these years and that's why we had never seen her previous to this season. I like my way better.

In work related news, they're going to start listening to our phone conversations. I WORK AT A CALL CENTER! GAH! I had a little training session thingy today on it. They'll record our conversations and our computer at the same time so they can see what screens we go to during the conversation. Found out that when we hit the mute button, the person listening to the recording will still be able to hear what we say (even though the person we're talking to can't). Which is scary. And funny. And since they are monitering our computer, I won't be able to email my friends here anymore and bad mouth the hmcs while I'm talking to them on the phone. Work will be so boring.

So I think I'm over the whole incurable diseases kick. I do kinda wish he'd get hit by a car though. A small car.
Overtime is back on at work. They're "recommending" 12 hours a week. Basically, we need to work overtime so we can for sure meet our goal otherwise people are getting canned. That's my prediction at least.
My life has been so ridiculously boring lately. Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed. Got up at 2:30, took a nap around 6. Now that's mostly because I didn't get to bed until 5 or so the night(morning) before. But still. I felt like a disgusting blob.
I'm thinking of turning my bathroom into a darkroom.

I wish incurable diseases to the account rep.

Names that have been suggested for the guinea pig:
Petina
Guaranteed Sadness
C.C.
Eternal Happiness
Stella the bitch

Name I'm going with:
Chicken

My pig is crazy. She jumps around like a bucking bronco and runs laps around her cage. In the middle of the night. When I'm trying to sleep.

I got bored on Monday and dyed my hair. Red streaks. We're talking RED. I kinda look like I should be a top secret CIA operative. Awesome.